I know me. If I don’t find enjoyment in doing something, I’m not going to follow through. If I don’t have a deep motivation for WHY I am doing something, I won’t stay with it.
Some people are able to go the gym every morning, even when they don’t feel like it, because it’s “what they do.” This doesn’t work for me. I am highly self-motivated and disciplined, but if I don’t WANT to do something, it’s not going to happen.
And so it’s been a challenge to find ways to connect with my physical body.
I don’t mean just exercising, working out, lifting weights and losing weight, I mean really connecting with my body.
I know that, as in touch as I am with my heart and my thoughts, until I am just as connected with my physical body, the big shifts that I desire can’t happen.
And so, many weeks ago I set an intention to find new ways to connect in my body.
Without a clear idea of what that would look like, I opened up to possibilities. I’ve been able to schedule in a second yoga class some weeks. I attended a friend’s Creative Movement class where we expressed emotions with our bodies. As hard as it was to move and breathe, it felt true, right, and I remembered how I used to move in my own living room years ago, dancing out the grief that I couldn’t express in my journal. And it was dancing that slimmed my waistline and taught me balance and flexibility and re-awakened my sexuality.
Moving to wordless rhythms, the beat of drums, called me back into myself and I knew that this kind of moving is my way back into my body.
Within two days of that class, an invitation arrived in my inbox to attend a workshop with Nina Wise in Big Sur. I was excited beyond myself.
I have been wanting to work with her and her practice of Motion Theater ever since I bought her book A Big, New, Free, Happy, Unusual Life in 2003. But schedules, circumstances and old beliefs prevented me.
In so many ways, this was a dream come true. The funny part is, when I first received the email, I actually heard myself say, “Let me think about it.” Then I heard myself answer “Really? You know you want this. What is there to think about?”
And so, last week, I traveled to a most beautiful place on the California coast, immersed in a workshop that was all about connecting in my body and expressing without thinking. I combined sounds with movement to express what words cannot reveal, moving deep into my cells where memories reside and shaking them loose, releasing the old stories into new ones that I can joyfully dance into.
I’m sure that this is where my work is. I know that this is how I can best connect with my physical body. Dancing. Moving. Exploring and expressing where even words cannot go.
And I’m excited for all the ways that I will bring my body back to myself. And how I will choose to share it all with you.
How do you connect with your physical body? I’d love for you to share by clicking the comments below.