I have been crying a lot lately. But that’s not why I’m writing this.
I’m writing this because, for years, I didn’t cry.
Like most of us, I’ve had sorrow and trauma in my past. But instead of feeling it, sharing it and releasing it, I buried it. I tucked my sadness and grief deep and away, convinced that, if I didn’t feel it, it would disappear.
My biggest fear was that, if I started to cry, to FEEL my sadness, that I would never stop.
And so I denied it, avoided it, numbed myself with pot to prevent myself from feeling any kind of vulnerability.
And if something happened in my life that did poke at my vulnerability, I quickly busied myself to avoid confronting any deep feelings.
This “worked” for a long time.
And then it didn’t work at all.
I was always agitated. Crabby. Needy. I wasn’t allowing my body to ebb and flow through ALL of my emotions.
Just like the body needs to laugh and sleep and breathe clean air, the body needs to cry.
Crying is the only mechanism the body has to release certain toxins and chemicals.
Dr. William H. Frey II, a biochemist at the St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center in Minnesota, analyzed two types of tears: the emotional ones (crying when emotionally upset and stressed) and the ones arising from irritants (such as crying from onions).
He found that emotional tears contained more of the protein-based hormones, prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, and leucine enkephalin (natural painkiller), all of which are produced by our body when under stress.
This explains why we usually feel better after a good cry.
Now I cry with ease. I allow my emotions to rise up past that place in my throat where I used to barricade my feelings. I let the tears carry the sadness up and out of my body. I FEEL the feelings as they move through me.
And then I feel a whole lot better.
I invite you to try it. The next time your feelings poke you and you’re tempted to hold back from crying, breathe into the sadness and then breathe it out.
Trust that you’re not going to drown yourself in an never ending tsunami of emotion.
Ride those tears to a new way of release.
I’d love to hear your comments. Click on the comments button to share your thoughts.
As you know, I cry at everything: things that are sad, happy, melancholy. I even cry when I see pain in others. I can’t say a nice thing to someone without tearing up. My son knows me and pushes me when he knows a situation is something that will make me cry. It is embarrassing to me. Now I just get a Kleenex and laugh!!!!
I obviously don’t store up on bad, withheld emotions. My sister and I used to avoid the tears by using humor. It’s worked for us for many, many years.
You are right, releasing the tears makes you feel good afterwards. However, not as much as a good belly laugh.
Thank you again for sharing what is in your heart. I have recently been allowing myself to cry more. To flow with whatever I am feeling at the moment. With lots of changes happening with my Mom, the tears come more often and I am allowing them, knowing that it is essential for my own well being. It has not always been easy for me to cry and I have often told others… I love to see tears…it means you are feeling life on a deep, real level. I am learning to welcome the tears…knowing that as I allow the tears I am also allowing joy, freedom and happiness.
I applaud you for going with the flow. It is certainly not easy but it really does ease it. Blessings to you and your mom…feel the love more than anything else.
I love that kind of belly laugh that turns into tears!
I think it’s amazing how a song, music, movie, or other piece of art can move someone to tears. That is so powerful — how an artist can stir that kind of emotion in others! I studied classical piano a few years ago. I was shocked one day when I was overcome with emotion playing a classical piece by Beethoven. Granted it was a very watered-down version of one of his compositions since I was just a beginner, but it was still a powerful experience. I think I began to cry because (1) I was actually playing something recognizable and (2) I was totally feeling the passion of his music. WOW! It was such a beautiful experience!