Jul11
Posted on Jul 11 by Ruth Davis
According to Wikipedia, “meditation is a practice in which an individual trains his or her mind or induces a mode of consciousness to realize some benefit. Meditation is generally an inwardly oriented, personal practice, which individuals do by themselves. Meditation may involve invoking or cultivating a feeling or internal state, such as compassion, or attending to a specific focal point. The term can refer to the state itself, as well as to practices or techniques employed to cultivate the state.” I am a Pisces, born on the last day before water becomes fire. So it is no surprise that one of my favorite ways to meditate is to float. Several weeks ago when I began a daily pool practice, I was so emotional, feeling like I had failed because it was officially summer in Phoenix, and I was still here. I was so stressed that, I hesitated before inching my way into the water and, when I tried to float, I couldn’t relax enough to even rest my head on the water. Now, four weeks later I...
Jul04
Posted on Jul 4 by Ruth Davis
It’s the first week in July and last Friday, three friends and two strong teen boys moved my big furniture and the rest of my packed boxes to my dad’s house to store. But my bed and my desks are still here. And so am I. After finding and then losing the original “dream house” and then the backup house, I was all set to move at the end of June into the furnished studio by the bay. Communicating with the landlady was challenging and I had started looking for other options. But I kept coming back to the furnished studio because it seemed so perfect as a transition space. But when the landlady informed me that she was trying to refinance the house so we’d have a house, I realized it was all much more drama than I needed. As scared as I was to not take this only known option, I also knew that I had to let go in order to move forward. It’s like going across the monkey bars. You can swing with one...
Jun27
Posted on Jun 27 by Ruth Davis
I wrote this in 2010, shortly after my mom passed away. Today, on the two year anniversary of her death, the message is just as important. It’s been an emotional couple of weeks since my mom passed on June 27. My family flew to Philadelphia for the funeral and my father asked me to handle all of the arrangements. While it was a daunting job to make the travel plans, the funeral arrangements and all the other decisions that accompany a death, my mother left me with such specific instructions that it was relatively painless. Which is why I encourage everyone to start talking about wishes and plans while you still can. We are encouraged to talk about sex with our kids, to educate them, to take the mystery out of it, to prepare them so that when they are faced with a choice, they can make sound and educated decisions. Years ago it was taboo to talk about sex. But we see how important it is. So why is talking about death and funerals, which is just...
Jun20
Posted on Jun 20 by Ruth Davis
We’re all afraid of something. Ignoring it may work for a little while, but facing it head on is the only way to really conquer the fear. I have my mother’s body, from the two chins and small hands, to the renaissance curves and pendulous breasts. My belly, round and firm at the same time, a small waist compared to my buttocks that are wide like all the women on her side of the family. I have the same thick thighs and narrow feet, and the pinky toes that curl under the other toes. My mother chewed antacids as far back as I can remember. I could always find a white box of peppermint CHOOZ gum in her pocketbook, on her headboard, in the glove compartment. For years my mother swallowed her anger, her grief, her feelings of losing control. I am much better at expressing myself – crying, yelling, feeling my feelings and letting them go. And still, I have the same reflux issues that she did. The ones that eventually turned into esophageal cancer and killed her....
Jun06
Posted on Jun 6 by Ruth Davis
With less than 30 days till Moving Day, I have started to pack and sort through my stuff. I have boxes filled with what to keep, what to give away. I recently went through some of my mother’s things, asking the same questions. There is a lot of energy in things. Taking time to sort through them can bring us clarity, space and memories, of course. There was no urgency. My father wasn’t moving out of the house. And he has his own closet so it wasn’t even a matter of needing the space. Still, I knew we needed to remove my mother’s clothes from the closet, empty her dresser drawers, clear out everything that was hers that wasn’t hers anymore. I had put it off for so long that, almost two years after she had died, my father finally did it without me. He quick-folded everything into four large black trash bags and brought them over to my house one afternoon before we went out for burgers. He wanted me to go through the bags before donating them...
May29
Posted on May 29 by Ruth Davis
“When you set out on the path, the path begins to materialize, but not before.” – Susan Piver Any adventure is a path. It meanders, it gets bumpy. It might even dead end. But if you keep moving forward, one step at a time, it will lead you where you need to go. If you’ve been following my moving adventures to live on the Central Coast of California, the last you heard, I didn’t get my “dream house” and I was waiting to hear about the back up man’s house. (If you missed Part 1 you can click to read it here.) Still, I had my going away gathering as planned and it was so lovely to have my friends and family all together, talking, eating, creating prayer flags for me to hang in my new home. There were no tears or sad goodbyes since I still didn’t have a place or a moving date. An hour before the party I saw a listing on Craig’s list-not for a house like the “dream house” but for a furnished studio...
